Ask Sam
Cousin Living With Me
Help me Sam!
I have my cousin at my house and she will be staying for 3 years or even longer. I need help because she is stressing me out and I don’t know what to do. Should I react to this or hold it back?
Stressed Out
Dear Stressed Out: Having relatives move in with you can be extremely stressful!!!! I totally understand! My answer to your question is ‘Yes, react.’ and ‘Yes, hold it back’.
Here’s what I mean.
Should you react? Yes. A discussion is definitely necessary to clear up misunderstandings and establish guidelines for living in a community. This type of discussion should happen regularly to avoid the build up of stress. I’d set up an appointment with your cousin (and probably a parent) every month to talk about ‘how things are going’. This gives you valuable feedback, keeps the air clear and provides a setting to address important issues. Living with your cousin will be much more enjoyable and less stressful.
Should you hold it back? Yes. You should hold back selfish emotions like anger, resentment or bitterness. Those are not issues between you and your cousin; they are issues between you and God.
By the way, learning how to live with others is a valuable tool you’ll need for the rest of your life!
Sam
