Ask Sam

Sibling Rivalry

Sam: I wanted to tell you about my sister. She is 15 years old and she calls me mean names and stuff like that. What do you think I should do about it? Should I just be nice to her even though she always tells me to shut up? My brother is 16 years old and he is not like that to me.

Kailey

Hi Kailey: I’m sorry your sister is being mean to you. Sibling rivalry is very common, especially in the teen years. Your sister is struggling with who she is and most likely doesn’t want a baby sister (I’m assuming you are younger) hanging around. Remember, it’s not about you. It’s about what she is going through. So keep your attitude right. Pray for her.

Even though you are the third child, you are the second born girl in the family. The second born, of the same sex, usually competes with the first born of the same sex. Without even knowing it, you may be challenging her. Staying out of her space should lessen the tension between you.

It may also be necessary to hold a family discussion. A formal appointment should be set-up with all family members present. Everyone has the opportunity to explain how they feel and everyone’s feelings are listened to and respected. Your parents can help to draw healthy boundaries so you all can make it through these emotional years still friends.

Thanks for caring for your sister,
Sam
PS: I did get your other email. I like Reliant K, Hillsong United and Veggie Tales Rock. Look for music with lyrics that will encourage and inspire you to worship God.
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