Ask Sam

A friend loves at all times

Hi Sam: one of my good friends likes this guy but he likes me and she got mad at me ...and now she won't talk to me ...what should i do???

Kelly

Dear Kelly: Sooner or later every friendship runs into a feud, and it can be over almost anything. Boys, forgetting to email or even borrowing clothes. The important thing is to talk and work at getting the problem resolved. Here are some helpful hints.
  1. Set an appointment to discuss the problem. Tell your friend you need to talk to her about something important to you. Choose a time when you won’t be hurried and a place that is private and comfortable. Setting an appointment will give you time to think about what you’ll say. You don’t want to approach her in the hall at school and end up making the situation worse.
  2. Choose your words wisely. Start with something positive about your friendship. As you begin to approach the problem, talk from your own perspective using “I” statements. Saying “I feel like our friendship has changed and I’m worried” is better than “you upset me when you……”. Pointing fingers makes people defensive.
  3. Listen carefully. She may have some valid points you may not have thought of. Friends listen with an open mind, trying to understand.
  4. Don’t write her off. Just because you’ve clashed and may not be able to resolve this issue immediately, doesn’t mean you give up on her. Problems with true friends are like bruises, they hurt for a while, but eventually go away.
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born of adversity" (Proverbs 17:17).

Sam
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